If you’re wondering how to stop grandparents buying too many gifts, you’re not alone. So many parents tell us they love that their families care, but the mountain of presents? The overstimulated kids? The clutter? Not so much.
Grandparents and extended family often show love through gifting… but that can clash with your values around conscious gifting, low-waste living and raising kids who appreciate what they have.
The good news: there are positive ways to help family buy fewer gifts without hurting feelings or starting World War III in the group chat.
Here’s how to set gentle boundaries and reduce the gifting overload using behavioural science, kindness and clarity.
1. Start with affirmation
When people feel criticised (“you’re buying too much stuff”), they double down.
Start by showing appreciation for their intentions.
Try: “Thanks so much for being so generous and loving with the kids — they adore spending time with you.”
This reduces defensiveness and keeps the conversation open.
2. Frame it as a shared goal
You’ll get much better results if you frame the change around shared values. This works especially well when stopping family from buying too many gifts.
Instead of: “You’re giving the kids way too many presents.”
Try: “We’ve been thinking about helping the kids feel less overwhelmed and more appreciative. Could you help us with that?”
This shifts the conversation from criticism to collaboration.
3. Offer clear alternatives to too many gifts
Most family members want to do the right thing, but they need clear, simple options.
Try offering alternatives like:
One gift + one experience
Contributing to one meaningful “big” item
A memories fund (museum passes, zoo trips)
A wishlist with links to second-hand items
A tradition gift (a book every birthday, theatre tickets at Christmas)
This helps guide them toward minimalist gifts for the kids without removing choice.
4. Gently explain the impact on the child
If kids are overwhelmed by presents, overstimulated or barely registering individual gifts, explaining this often softens resistance.
For example: “We’ve noticed the kids get so excited they barely take in each gift. We’d love presents from you to feel really meaningful to them.”
This is especially effective when trying to stop grandparents buying too many gifts, because it reframes the request as strengthening their bond.
5. Create a new “family norm”
Humans follow social norms — even within families.
Try: “We’re simplifying kids’ gifts across the whole family this year, with everyone doing one special gift each.”
Even if the “everyone” is just… you… it still reduces the feeling of being singled out.
6. Use the future-self technique
Ask grandparents to imagine the relationship they want as the kids grow up.
For example: “It’ll be so lovely when the kids look back on all the experiences you shared together.”
Focusing on memories naturally encourages eco-friendly, low-waste gifting.
7. Reinforce the new behaviour
When a family member gives fewer or more thoughtful gifts, reward it with specific praise.
Try: “Thank you — the kids loved it, and didn’t even notice it was second-hand. The day out you planned made things so much calmer.”
Positive reinforcement = repeated behaviour.
Want a simple way to set gifting boundaries with family?
Join The Kids Party Pact.
It’s a positive, low-waste, shame-free movement helping families create calmer, greener, more meaningful celebrations with fewer unwanted gifts and more connection.
👉 Sign the Kids Party Pact here and make gifting simpler for everyone.
